Fear

When we were Children we'd play

out on the streets just dipped in fate.

When we were Children we'd say

that we didn't know the meaning of

Fear

I miss Bella :(

Know that you're loved, your new red hair and all ;) :P

A Bit of a Catch Up

I was about to leave Blogger, and start a new blog on Tumblr - actually I did, but it was horrible, I hate it, and it really doesn't compare with blogger at all!! Plus people that I know are there, so i would definitely not be able to talk about what's mostly on my mind...

So I went to China, and I came back. It was THE 2 best, most amazing weeks of my entire life, i can't even begin to explain how amazing it was!

Although i made quite a few self revelations, one being that i am literally a stupid human being. In all honesty... i'm like one of those dumb blondes people can't stand to talk to. yet i get 98% average for my maths term mark O.o...

Anyway... In China, I hit 56kg! FINALLY! But, and I kid you not, we ate every single meal. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner. I sometimes skipped, but was barely able to. And I haven't mastered the art of refusing food when people are noticing, so I ate. But i tried to not eat much.

But since everyone on the tour was sick of Chinese food, we went to McDonalds. every. single. day. for. two. freaken. weeks!!!

And we had Ice cream every single day. I tried to control the McDonalds as much as possible, but I won't lie, I sometimes had more than 2 ice creams a day. I'm pretty much pathetic, yeah I know.

Upside: We walked literally everywhere. The Great Wall was amazing, and *such a workout! So that's possibly why I never came back a whale, but just 2kg heavier, in other words... back to where i started...

I have a lot to say, but I hate boring you with long posts. As well as the fact that I came back to about 10 new followers O.O

I still don't know how the hell that happened, or what you all see in me, but wow guys...

I struggle to find time to blog and follow and comment, but if you're new, please leave a comment so i can check out your blog when I can :)

I miss this place :(

I Pay My Respects...

To All Bulimics out there, Here's my respect.

I just Puked... For the first time, i did it legitimately.

Today I was meant to starve, and I ate 4 croissants, and 2 slices of quiche...

And because I've read so many bulimia blogs, i knew some tricks;

drink water, drink water, drink water, mix it up, drink water, and away you go...

I barely brought up a thing and i just couldn't do it anymore.

I got exhausted, my throat was sore, and nothing more was coming, so i stopped.

And to think that this monster haunts some of you more than once a day, for i think hours...

I weep and i cry for you, and i respect you for having the strength to continue, because honestly, i will admit, i am just too weak for such.

It may mean i'm going to become obese, but so be it...

I have the most horrible feeling today. When everything is happening for me, people are doing big things for, and everyone in my life is so fucking amazing.

And God continues to give and give and give.

And i'm listening to the most orgasmic music ever - Bon Iver...

I can't handle it when everything is amazing like this. it makes me sad because i obviously don't deserve it... and there's nothing i can do to MakeupforitStopitChangeit... i just can't handle things going right! it's depressing me that I CAN be so happy.

I'M FUCKING FLYING TO CHINA ON FUCKING MONDAY FOR FUCKING FOURTEEN DAYS!!!

And i don't even want to MENTION everything else that's going right . . .

Everything that i don't deserve...

- Capture it. Live it. Love it. Laugh.

Breathe.

It's 3pm and i'm feeling like a Champ just because i haven't even had sweets today.

Only lollipops have touched my lips.

But it's 3 o clock.

And im about to fail... I can feel it.

I want to find the person who's longing to get a hug as much as I'm longing to give one . . .

Haven't found anyone yet,

but i have a feeling that they're all around me . . .

- stolen from Helen's blog. I think she could do with a hug a lot of the time... (sends one her way)

They say she's too skinny,

But how intense is that?

Her body?

I will never understand the concept of being

too

skinny.

Her Blog makes me cry almost everytime I read it.

I wonder if she knows.

She doesn't

Follow Me On Twitter Please :)

@CordsAnnor

And I'll follow back :)